Hey!!! What about all the animals that live with smokers for years and do not die young because of second hand smoke? hmmmmmmmm
mortimas.com
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Car theft?
The car thieves peer through the windshield of your car or truck, write
down the VIN # from the label on the dash!, go to the local car dealership
and request a duplicate key based on the VIN #. I didn't believe this
e-mail, so I called Chrysler-Dodge and pretended I had lost my keys. They
told me to just bring in the VIN #, and they would cut me one on the spot,
and I could order the keyless device if I wanted.
The Car Dealer Parts Department will make a duplicate key from the VIN
#, and collect payment from the thief who will return to your car. He
doesn't have to break in, do any damage to the vehicle, or draw attention;
to himself. All he has to do is walk up to your car, insert the key and
off he goes to a local Chop Shop with your vehicle.
You don't believe it? It IS that easy. To avoid this from happening to
you, simply put some tape (electrical tape, duct tape or medical tape)
across the VIN Metal Label located on the dash boa rd. By law, you cannot
remove the VIN, but you CAN cover it so it can't be viewed through the
windshield by a car thief. I urge you to forward this to your friends
before some other car thief steals another car or truck.
I slipped a 3 x 5 card over the VIN NUMBER.
down the VIN # from the label on the dash!, go to the local car dealership
and request a duplicate key based on the VIN #. I didn't believe this
e-mail, so I called Chrysler-Dodge and pretended I had lost my keys. They
told me to just bring in the VIN #, and they would cut me one on the spot,
and I could order the keyless device if I wanted.
The Car Dealer Parts Department will make a duplicate key from the VIN
#, and collect payment from the thief who will return to your car. He
doesn't have to break in, do any damage to the vehicle, or draw attention;
to himself. All he has to do is walk up to your car, insert the key and
off he goes to a local Chop Shop with your vehicle.
You don't believe it? It IS that easy. To avoid this from happening to
you, simply put some tape (electrical tape, duct tape or medical tape)
across the VIN Metal Label located on the dash boa rd. By law, you cannot
remove the VIN, but you CAN cover it so it can't be viewed through the
windshield by a car thief. I urge you to forward this to your friends
before some other car thief steals another car or truck.
I slipped a 3 x 5 card over the VIN NUMBER.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
spanish speakers are bank
Whether you like it or not, the influx of Spanish speaking as a primary language people are ever increasing in our country (U.S.A.). The policies of our government, while in place do nothing to stave off the flow of illegal immigrants from Mexico into our country. Although the unemployment rate in the U.S. is very low there may come a time that the Spanish speaking population is a great factor in our country.
Personaly I am not a huge fan of just closing the borders. I think that more enforcement of the laws on the books is appropriate. Government spending on social programs geared towards illegals need to be reduced.
Excerpt from a rant on the web.
Free medical, free education, free food, day care
etc., etc, etc. Is it any wonder they feel entitled to not only be in this country but to demand rights, privileges and entitlements ?
To those who want to point out how much these illegal immigrants contribute to our society because they LIKE their gardener and housekeeper and they like to pay less for tomatoes: spend some time in the real world of illegal immigration and see the TRUE costs.
Higher insurance, medical facilities closing, higher medical costs, more crime, lower standards of education in our schools, overcrowding, new diseases etc., etc, etc. For me, I'll pay more for tomatoes.
The above may not go hand in hand with my beliefs, but it is very close.
My point here is, as a capitalist myself I intend on trying to secure my families future by doing many things to prepare myself for the future, and if I am to accept the fact that the diversity of America is ever changing I might as well make some dough off the deal.
I am trying this to tap the Spanish speaking market
Personaly I am not a huge fan of just closing the borders. I think that more enforcement of the laws on the books is appropriate. Government spending on social programs geared towards illegals need to be reduced.
Excerpt from a rant on the web.
Free medical, free education, free food, day care
etc., etc, etc. Is it any wonder they feel entitled to not only be in this country but to demand rights, privileges and entitlements ?
To those who want to point out how much these illegal immigrants contribute to our society because they LIKE their gardener and housekeeper and they like to pay less for tomatoes: spend some time in the real world of illegal immigration and see the TRUE costs.
Higher insurance, medical facilities closing, higher medical costs, more crime, lower standards of education in our schools, overcrowding, new diseases etc., etc, etc. For me, I'll pay more for tomatoes.
The above may not go hand in hand with my beliefs, but it is very close.
My point here is, as a capitalist myself I intend on trying to secure my families future by doing many things to prepare myself for the future, and if I am to accept the fact that the diversity of America is ever changing I might as well make some dough off the deal.
I am trying this to tap the Spanish speaking market
Saturday, February 2, 2008
sports jobs
Do you want a job in sports? I know I do, that would kick ass! Well the above link takes you to a JOB BOARD look around and see what kind of dream job in sports is for you.
Friday, February 1, 2008
worst vasectomy ever, but funny.
worst ever, yet funny
Worst yet funniest story about a vasectomy
A couple years ago after me and the wife decided to stop having kids. Well I guess she decided not to have anymore. We decided I should get a vasectomy. I consulted the doctor I was going to use and he assured me he had done hundreds and hundreds of this fairly simple procedure. This procedure entails opening of the scrotal sack and then cutting the left and right vas deferens and then cauterizing them. This causes the flow of sperm to cease.
The day of the operation I went and picked up my one valium I was prescribed and showed up in the waiting room, I read the pamphlet on all the things that could go wrong which includes constant pain (for life) pain during ejaculation and infection leading to loss of all sexual function. This was not reassuring, but I also know these are 1 in thousands of a chance to happen.
I was instructed to take my valium so it would be in full effect when I went in the office. Ok valium is a neat drug, it relaxes you and makes you feel real good...... for about 20 minutes.... I was called in about 35 after I took the drug. No good relaxation for me.
I dropped trou and was seated on the chair (of doom) The doctor matter of factly grabbed my manhood and said "this will sting for a second" As he injected a novicane type drug into the left side of my stuff, then again on the right. 4 or 5 minutes later he told me he was going to incise. "Stop!!!" I yelled, because apparently the novicane hadn't taken full effect yet and I felt a sharp pain as he "incised". After another round of novicane he incised again and this time there was nothing but an uncomfortable feeling, but manageable. He then did the right side, and once again it was just an uncomfortable feeling, the right vas def done and cauterized he moved to the left..... Ok this was as if no numbness had taken effect. Guys will relate, just imgine a knife inside you sack cutting and slicing. Yes that is what it felt like. I yelled at the doctor and I am sure the whole waiting room heard me. His response was "Do you have trouble at the dentist when he numbs you?" Are you kidding me?!?!? That was what he said!!! I said no and waited for another round of novacane, It set in and I felt nothing except the uncomfortable feeling.
A couple minutes into the left side.. "Whoops!" The doctor actually said that. Apparantly he had cut the vas def on the left side and it got away from him. The top part coiled up and went basicsally into my lower abdomen. Two more medical personel were called in to assist and after yanking and pulling they got hold of it. The uncomfortable feeling had become unbearable and as I lay in my pool of sweat I thought about how it would have been better to work seventy hours a week to support ten kids.
After it was over My wife was lead in and told to take me out the back way. Im not kidding, they made me go out the back door so the other guys wouldn't have to see my limping sweating obviously in pain spectacle.
No bad after effects....... Except one, my wife is four months pregnant and after my three day tyraid on her infidelity I had my sperm checked and it was alive and well!!!!! ( of course I was supposed to have done that a year ago, but I wasn't about to go back to that doctor for any reason.
Mortimas
Worst yet funniest story about a vasectomy
A couple years ago after me and the wife decided to stop having kids. Well I guess she decided not to have anymore. We decided I should get a vasectomy. I consulted the doctor I was going to use and he assured me he had done hundreds and hundreds of this fairly simple procedure. This procedure entails opening of the scrotal sack and then cutting the left and right vas deferens and then cauterizing them. This causes the flow of sperm to cease.
The day of the operation I went and picked up my one valium I was prescribed and showed up in the waiting room, I read the pamphlet on all the things that could go wrong which includes constant pain (for life) pain during ejaculation and infection leading to loss of all sexual function. This was not reassuring, but I also know these are 1 in thousands of a chance to happen.
I was instructed to take my valium so it would be in full effect when I went in the office. Ok valium is a neat drug, it relaxes you and makes you feel real good...... for about 20 minutes.... I was called in about 35 after I took the drug. No good relaxation for me.
I dropped trou and was seated on the chair (of doom) The doctor matter of factly grabbed my manhood and said "this will sting for a second" As he injected a novicane type drug into the left side of my stuff, then again on the right. 4 or 5 minutes later he told me he was going to incise. "Stop!!!" I yelled, because apparently the novicane hadn't taken full effect yet and I felt a sharp pain as he "incised". After another round of novicane he incised again and this time there was nothing but an uncomfortable feeling, but manageable. He then did the right side, and once again it was just an uncomfortable feeling, the right vas def done and cauterized he moved to the left..... Ok this was as if no numbness had taken effect. Guys will relate, just imgine a knife inside you sack cutting and slicing. Yes that is what it felt like. I yelled at the doctor and I am sure the whole waiting room heard me. His response was "Do you have trouble at the dentist when he numbs you?" Are you kidding me?!?!? That was what he said!!! I said no and waited for another round of novacane, It set in and I felt nothing except the uncomfortable feeling.
A couple minutes into the left side.. "Whoops!" The doctor actually said that. Apparantly he had cut the vas def on the left side and it got away from him. The top part coiled up and went basicsally into my lower abdomen. Two more medical personel were called in to assist and after yanking and pulling they got hold of it. The uncomfortable feeling had become unbearable and as I lay in my pool of sweat I thought about how it would have been better to work seventy hours a week to support ten kids.
After it was over My wife was lead in and told to take me out the back way. Im not kidding, they made me go out the back door so the other guys wouldn't have to see my limping sweating obviously in pain spectacle.
No bad after effects....... Except one, my wife is four months pregnant and after my three day tyraid on her infidelity I had my sperm checked and it was alive and well!!!!! ( of course I was supposed to have done that a year ago, but I wasn't about to go back to that doctor for any reason.
Mortimas
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Valentines day gift idea
Cliche valentines day gifts are the norm, flowers, chocolates and teddy bears....
Well, this year I am still doing the cliche, but I am going to personalize the damn thing!!!! I think Valentines day is just another corporate "holiday", but still I will be expected by my loved one to come throuhg once again!!! With a big fat I love you and some kind of gift, and maybe some sweet lovin to boot!!
Here is the script directly from the site, and it says it all. Just an idea for those trying to figure it all out.
Description: You may have heard of World’s Finest® Chocolate. We’ve been around since 1949. Most people know us as a non profit fund raising organization working with schools, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Sports Groups, and many more not for profit groups. But what many people don’t know is that we also sell our delicious chocolates online and best of all online buyers can personalize their gift items with pictures of the family for the holiday season, Birth Announcements, Thank You Gifts, Congratulations, the list goes on...
Heart Shaped boxes available.
Businesses use our delicious personalized gifts to send to clients for: Holidays, Special occasions, Welcome aboard, Employee rewards, Thanks for the referral, Thanks for your business, Thanks for your time. That’s right any personalized message or special occasion you can think of. You can send a delicious gift personalized with your picture or business logo all for under $25.00/each including shipping and handling costs
Well, this year I am still doing the cliche, but I am going to personalize the damn thing!!!! I think Valentines day is just another corporate "holiday", but still I will be expected by my loved one to come throuhg once again!!! With a big fat I love you and some kind of gift, and maybe some sweet lovin to boot!!
Here is the script directly from the site, and it says it all. Just an idea for those trying to figure it all out.
Description: You may have heard of World’s Finest® Chocolate. We’ve been around since 1949. Most people know us as a non profit fund raising organization working with schools, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Sports Groups, and many more not for profit groups. But what many people don’t know is that we also sell our delicious chocolates online and best of all online buyers can personalize their gift items with pictures of the family for the holiday season, Birth Announcements, Thank You Gifts, Congratulations, the list goes on...
Heart Shaped boxes available.
Businesses use our delicious personalized gifts to send to clients for: Holidays, Special occasions, Welcome aboard, Employee rewards, Thanks for the referral, Thanks for your business, Thanks for your time. That’s right any personalized message or special occasion you can think of. You can send a delicious gift personalized with your picture or business logo all for under $25.00/each including shipping and handling costs
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
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